Pound of Nard

According to Allegra, blogs are for pictures of kids, not for my confused mutterings. Therefore do not equate this picture of Samaria (or our friend Megan) as her edorsement of her Father's theology; rather this is my attempt to appease my much wiser and intuitive wife.

For the majority of my Christian life I have comfortably lived in the house built by the Westminster Divines and the English Puritans, constructed upon the foundation laid by Calvin, Luther and Augustine (though we differ on ecclesiology).  I shared a room with the Sprouls and ate supper with Gerstners and took walks with the Berkhofs.  Consequently, I was a happy and unquestioning (perhaps even proud) cessationist (or one who believes that the NT signs and wonders were for the apostolic age).

It was much to my surprise therefore, upon reading Grudem’s Systematic Theology while in seminary, that I happened upon one Calvinist who denied cessationism.  Some years later I walked into a Sovereign Grace church in Cary, NC with Allegra and worshipped with tongues-speaking Calvinists!  Now I have always assumed (undoubtedly due to my ignorance) that all “Charismatics” were Arminians.  Which may have been the case in the past, but is increasingly not the case today (See Sam Storms, “Convergence: Spiritual Journeys of a Charistmatic Calvinist“ )

Confused, my journey to uncertainty took me to Honduras on a mission trip last winter, when I learned anecdotally from a local pastor of the incredible growth of the “charismatic church” in Honduras. I even happened across one as I was wondering the streets of Sequatepeque one evening.  Though I understood little of what they were saying (I guess I don’t have the gift of interpretation), I was impressed by their controlled fervor and devotion to the Lord in worship (something many reformed or even traditional American churches miss).  I wonder if this is what Paul means when he commands you and I to be “fervent in the spirit” (Rom 12:11).

My confusion was compounded in Central Asia last Spring.  There, while working with our new missionary partners, I was told a couple stories (one first hand) of the miraculous activity of God (ask me sometime and I will share with you these amazing events).  The missionary was not arguing a theological point or claiming to be endowed with some wonder-working gift; rather, he was just speaking, sheepishly I will add, of God’s “wondrous deeds” (Psalm 71:17). 

Multiplying my interest in the subjective experience of God has been the recent controversy over the IMB’s unwillingness to send missionaries who admit to speaking in a private prayer language; a tragedy in our community in which God elected to not answer in the affirmative hundreds, in not thousands, of petitions and cries for healing; a renewed interest in the life of the Edwards (Jonathon and Sarah), David Brainerd, George Muller, and Esther Ahn Kim and how they all seemed to experience the presence of God in a personal way which continues to largely elude me; the re-reading of Tozer; and my preaching through the upper-room discourse last year in which Jesus promises that if I love him, I will be loved by his Father and he will love me and manifest himself to me” (John 14:21).

Moreover, this summer I was reading the January edition of the “International Bulletin of Missionary Research” which reports that in 1900 there was approximately 1 million “Pentecostals/Charismatics” (or 1 out 521 professing Christians).  In 1970, there were 68 million (or 1 out of 16).  In 2008 there were 601 million (or 1 out of 4).  Regardless of your theological convictions on the continuation of “sign gifts,” don’t we have to ask what accounts for this exponential growth, when other Christians (like the Southern Baptists for example) have enjoyed much more modest fruitfulness?

Some suggest Pentecostal growth is not due to the miraculous working of the Holy Spirit; but, due to an appeal to our more fleshly desires (wealth, health, success, power …).  In the past I would have been quick to jump on that wagon (part of me still wants to).  But my fear is this: what if my dogmatism (BTW, there is nothing wrong with being dogmatic) would lead me to miss out on a massive, miraculous, world-wide movement of God.  I don’t want to stand on the side-lines, dour faceed and crossed-armed, shaking my head at what “may” be God’s handiwork.

So I have trekked from confidence to confusion. As I have told my church, the only thing I am certain about is my uncertainty. Thus the journey continues … perhaps back to live with my cessationist brothers or perhaps some place new.  Wherever I find myself may I be chained to the Scripture and happily at home with my God.